Loneliness is often regarded as a "disease" of modern society. In reality, it is an inevitable consequence of economic development, influencing our interactions with others. Young people today must grow up and adapt to a society that evolves at a breakneck pace, much more rapidly than previous generations.
Some individuals view loneliness as an opportunity to start self-dialogue and gain deeper insight into their desires. Conversely, others fear this feeling because it forces them to confront their solitude. Regardless of perception, the way young people cope with loneliness greatly impacts their mental health, relationships, and personal development.
Writer Khải Đơn discusses her experiences with loneliness in episode 28 of EduStation. She has authored several notable works exploring the tension of human existence under contemporary pressures, including Đừng tháo xuống nụ cười, Ta có bi quan không, Gập ghềnh tuổi 20, and Mekong, phù sa phiêu bạt.
Are you Alone or Lonely?
These two adjectives, "alone" and "lonely," sound similar but describe entirely different states. Khải Đơn explains that "loneliness" is a disconnection from others, including those we love and respect. It is an involuntary condition. In contrast, being "alone" is a state we can choose.
A person can be surrounded by many people yet still feel lonely, unable to connect with family or friends. On the other hand, someone may still be happy when they are alone, finding or creating their own happiness even when no one else is around.
The confusion between these two concepts can be traced back to when loneliness was romanticized in literature and art. Books about loneliness often outsell other genres, and the "lonely" artist is often seen as the most creative.
Even notable psychologists in the early twentieth century did not recognize the severity of loneliness until it became a widespread issue. Khải Đơn comments that while loneliness may benefit certain career stages, it is detrimental to long-term human well-being.
Loneliness can affect us at any age
Khải Đơn, who has traveled a lot and observed various stages of life, found that loneliness is a challenge faced by all age groups.
For children, especially those in urban areas growing up with technology, loneliness becomes evident when they are without their phones or iPads. Unlike traditional play, which fosters developmental skills, digital activities do not offer the same benefits.
In adolescence, the explosion of relationships beyond family and school becomes chaotic. At this time, peer acceptance becomes more crucial than parental approval. If parents fail to understand their children's needs, the resulting loneliness can resemble depression.
In their 20s and 30s, people often experience loneliness as friends pursue education, careers, marriage, or move away. The constant change in relationships can make it struggle to cope with this feeling.
As parents, individuals may struggle to comprehend and communicate with their children, similar to the issues their own parents had. When old age arrives, the passing of a spouse and the independence of grown children can result in a loss of life purpose and meaning.
The effects of loneliness became visible during the COVID-19 pandemic, when isolation led many to seek solace in stimulants or reckless behavior. Thus, at any age, it is crucial to find joy independently. Relying on others or external objects, like smartphones, for happiness undermines emotional freedom.
Open the door to soul: A way to overcome loneliness
Khải Đơn emphasizes that while loneliness is an inevitable part of life, the key lies in how we deal with it. For young people, this process has a significant impact on their mental health and personal development.
She encourages young individuals to proactively open the door to their souls. Often, the world around them—family, friends, colleagues—wants to listen, but they may not know how to communicate or vice versa. Host Hùng Võ agrees that this effort requires mutual effort, allowing connections to form.
Khải Đơn also acknowledges that second-guessing others' responses as a self-defense mechanism is common, especially online. Misjudgments in communication can occur when people prioritize showing off or evaluating over genuinely listening.
Finding the right person to share problems with is essential. For psychological concerns, visiting a licensed psychologist rather than an internet forum is preferable. In the end, individuals should seize the chance for self-dialogue when alone, either by choice or circumstance.
Translated by Thúy An