Forget Philosophies: Discover Yourself Through The Basics

In their early 20s, young people who have just graduated and are starting out in life often seek to "find themselves." A Google search for this term yields results that predominantly feature profound philosophies, meditation, or self-help courses promising deep self-understanding.

While these methods are not wrong, they can be difficult for young people to grasp fully, as they lack the life experience to relate to these complex concepts. Instead of focusing on intricate philosophies, why not begin to "understand yourself" through the most basic and intimate aspects of life?

This is the lesson Dr. Bùi Trân Phượng shares in episode 31 of EduStation. Dr. Bùi Trân Phượng has many years of teaching and training experience in France. She is the former principal of Hoa Sen University and was recognized by Forbes Vietnam as one of the 50 most influential women in Vietnam in 2017.

Understanding yourself through simple steps

Dr. Bùi Trân Phượng highlights a shift in educational practices between her generation and the current one, which she describes as a delayed adulthood.

In the past, elementary school teachers in Vietnam referred to students using the pronouns "em" or "con," which convey a sense of youth and dependency. By middle school, students were addressed as "anh" or "chị," pronouns that imply respect and a level of maturity.

While high school girls were wearing áo dài, the boys were commuting to school by themselves with their shirts tucked in. These small practices helped students transition into adulthood before they formally became adults. Today, societal complexities and increased pressure have changed student behaviors.

Many young people in college still rely on their parents for transportation and may not know how to cook their meals. This dependency prevents them from understanding their strengths and weaknesses and recognizing their needs and goals.

To counter this, young people should strive for independence once they reach a certain age. For instance, rather than relying on their parents, they may walk or take the bus. Such steps foster a sense of normalcy and self-reliance.

Reality check: Life isn’t like school

Dr. Bùi Trân Phượng attributes young people's struggles with self-understanding to inadequacies in the current Vietnamese education system, which is heavily focused on high academic achievement, often referred to as "achievement disease."

In this system, nearly every student receives Distinction or High Distinction, making it unusual to receive a Pass. This overemphasis on high scores creates an artificial environment that distances students from real-world experiences.

Social media exacerbates this issue, as peer pressure from seeing friends' achievements can lead to unrealistic expectations. Young people may mistakenly believe that being well-rounded is standard, while average abilities are not acceptable in society.

To cope with this strain, young people must be resilient and self-aware. They should recognize the gap between their abilities and societal expectations and work to bridge that gap. For example, if a student studying outdated software wants a career in IT, they should proactively learn about new software, seek mentors, and hone their skills.

Understanding one's needs and goals allows for better decision-making and reduces the tendency to compare oneself to others. By focusing on personal growth and relevance to their career path, individuals can avoid undue stress and self-doubt.

Build your confidence in a chaotic world

Host Hùng Võ agrees that many young people today feel "disillusioned" when they realize they are not as exceptional as they believed. Dr. Bùi Trân Phượng sees this realization as a sign of bravery and rationality. It’s crucial to understand that no one can excel in every aspect of life.

Achieving good grades in school may seem easy, but maintaining excellence in the real world can be exhausting. However, continuous self-improvement, even in small steps, is key. For example, waking up 30 minutes earlier than yesterday shows progress.

True confidence comes from a deep understanding of your strengths, desires, and limitations, as well as a clear strategy for achieving your goals. It also involves recognizing your weaknesses and determining which areas need improvement and which can be set aside.

With this self-awareness, you will have greater flexibility in your professional life. For instance, if you find yourself in a toxic work environment, you will have the clarity to decide whether to compromise or to leave and seek a healthier workplace. Your choice will be the outcome of a thorough understanding of your needs and the values you wish to uphold.

Translated by Thúy An