Yêu Lành: Living Fully In The Face Of Death

At the age of 95, what is most fascinating about Xuân Phượng? Is it her past, rich with experiences, or the unknown future, still awaiting her exploration? Her life embraces both. Overflowing with stories, Xuân Phượng's lifetime reflects the old wisdom that time holds all the answers.

Listening to her speak about life’s ups and downs, dreams realized and those left incomplete, calm wisdom settles in the conversation. With all its struggles, life seems to revolve in cycles, each hardship eventually smoothing out, like ripples on water. Peace comes, but only after a long journey.

An Unfinished Painting, An Unstoppable Spirit

In this episode of Yêu Lành podcast, Xuân Phượng shared a story about a painting by Dương Bích Liên. Except it wasn’t quite a painting. “Just a bunch of silly sketches,” someone exclaimed when Xuân Phượng first acquired the artwork. She remained silent as she knew they did not understand art.

The sketches weren’t random, they were a testament to perseverance. At the time, due to financial constraints, Dương Bích Liên couldn't afford sketch paper to draw freely. With only one meter-wide sheet of paper in hand, the artist filled it with nearly 100 sketches, managing to draw 5 or 6 children’s faces in a space barely 20 centimeters across.

Xuân Phượng once showed this work to a German artist. Immersed in the moment of silence, they both resonated with the spirit in those scribbles, a spirit of determination to overcome obstacles by Vietnamese artists. The German artist knelt before the sketch, kissed it, and whispered, “Respect.”

Artwork is often displayed as a completed piece, like a meticulously wrapped package. Yet, the allure of incompleteness, as seen in Dương Bích Liên's sketches, highlights the unique charm and potential of an ongoing artistic process.

The Art Of Giving Without Expectation

Xuân Phượng’s view of Dương Bích Liên’s work mirrors her own philosophy on life—especially when it came to her art gallery. Driven by the dream of bringing Vietnamese art to the world, she poured her heart and soul into countless foreign exhibitions, crossing borders to showcase the talent of her homeland.

To outsiders, she may have appeared wealthy, jet-setting from one gallery to another, but the reality was more humble. On each trip, she brought a team of artists with her. For many, it was their first time leaving Vietnam, so the old lady always prepared suitcases full of homeland essentials like fish sauce, garlic, chili, and even boxes of instant noodles to make them feel a little more at home.

She invested not just money, but her heart, energy, and every ounce of passion she had into promoting Vietnamese artists to the world. She gave them experiences they never dreamed of, and nurtured them until their names were known. Her effort finally paid off; a group of unknown talents then turned into celebrated artists.

Yet, when the time came to sell her beloved gallery, the decision weighed heavy on her. She couldn’t even bring herself to walk past the old space on Pasteur Street. It was like leaving a part of her soul behind. Yet, she feels no regret. After 30 years of unwavering dedication, she knows she has stayed true to her original mission—to elevate Vietnamese art on the global stage.

What Lies Behind Fulfilled Dreams And Before Death?

Closing that chapter of her life, Xuân Phượng poured her emotions into writing her memoir, Khắc đi… Khắc đến. Thirty years of running a gallery, or even 95 years of living could sound long and tedious, but to her, it has just passed in a blink. Most people think in old age, there's nothing left to do than wait for the inevitable. But for Xuân Phượng, the longer she lives, the more determined she becomes to embrace life.

She has come to terms with her own mortality, envisioning a future where her ashes are scattered into the flow of the Perfume River, so she can continue to drift along, carried by the current without any block of traffic. She asks for no grave or tomb, desiring only that her loved ones hang a beautiful painting in her memory and hold her in their hearts.

But as that time hasn't come yet, Xuân Phượng is determined to live fully. Every morning, she wakes up with a clear routine—doing yoga, having a mindful breakfast, and sitting down to write. Waiting for death in old age is never an option for her. “Why should I wait to die? Death has to wait for me,” she smiles and says.

Standing between the remnants of dreams and the certainty of death, she keeps moving forward, savoring each moment. To her, living means loving—loving life, loving people, and keeping her heart open to the world’s beauty.

Translated by Thúy An